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Edward
47 Greenwich, London (Greater), United Kingdom
Seeking: Female 22 - 32
Occupation: Finance / Banking / Real Estate
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage my time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook cupcakes in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass on my fiddle, I was scouted by Chelsea, I have been the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private individual, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once met John McEnroe and read Paradise Lost, Moby**** and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to rearrange the furniture in my flat that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with MI5. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on holiday in Spain, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. I can be very silly and fun, or very serious and straight forward and my bills are always paid. On weekends, to let off a little steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning oysters. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling competitions at the Kremlin. I love curly french fries and salmon. I am a VERY honest person. I have a strong distaste toward people who lie, cheat and steal. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

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